Saturday, April 6, 2013

in the deepest well

howdee Bloggie .
new rhythm of mine .
done blogwalking . found a blog .
this blog made my heart skips a beat .
really love reading her words .
made me realize on something .

**
i may laugh , i may smile , but always cry .
i love being secretive with my feelings .
don't judge me .
**

thoo , that blog .
it reminds me for my past . 
past that somehow show me the right path .
but .
out of the blue , i went to the very wrong path .
dummy am i .

nowadays , when my friends ask my past .
i always refused to go through it .
why? 
i try thousand times to forget bout it ,
but it never gave me the chance .
everywhere i go , the flies accompanies me . 
the past is never died .
it is not even past .
~william Faulkner~
indeed .
the past never died .
it always alive . in my mind .

**
no one knows . only Him .
He knows how much my heart searching for the warm of life . dunniah wa akhirah .
but still didn't found it .
easy to say , Hidayah .
its true . Allah gave Hidayah to those He wants .
only we have to search it .
**

He gave me once . 
He show me the way . He send me to the crowd which always pray to Him .
but .
i forgot . i went far far away from them . 
i went far away from Him .
i went to the deepest of well .
being so E.v.i.l 
forget Him all day .
forget who i am without Him .
being so arrogant .

**
i've done everything ,
very big mistakes .
up side down , ALL .
**

but still .
He heard me .
He watch me and helps me .
He again send me to a place where i can see the right path .
how come i didn't see it .
dummy . dump . thats me .

Allah .
open my heart . open my eyes . 


i wanna be the preetiest me at the moment i met Him .
without any make up ,
even such a colourful and branded dress .
Ameen ya Allah .

**
i'm very sorry for all my wrongdoing .
a very beginning for the previous millions beginning
pray me . i really need it . :'(
**

ur sincere ,
Hidayah .

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