Wednesday, September 13, 2017

boring reliever!

hola! not that excited hola from me actually haha
just to considering what to do next right after am updating here..
todays kinda gloomy day for me as flu and fever catching up to me 
since last week as i can counter.. 

anywho yesterday i went to the city for finding a job 
kinda boring reliever for me to go outside arhaus finally.. 

no, not that finding a job to release my boring tho
everyone need a job actually,, is this kinda economic stuff.. a job is very important especially for someone who had a family like me..

plus, i am not a person that can stayed at home for 24/7 without doing anything
i do love sleeping and just watching DVDs all the time without ever worried to find money and stuff because i have a husband to be granted
just tell me who ever dont love to sleep and relax at home
it just so heaven! 😄

as a wife, its my job to help even not a peny, but at least lessen the burden on my husband's shoulder.. 
for the time being while holding my phone 24/7 waiting for a job call,, 
my heart itching to get out and go for a sea

i just loveeee seas! the breeze the water splashing at my feet were sooo refreshing you know.. 
maybe for someone like me, reallyyyy need that kinda boring reliever..

if and only if long ago while i'm single and available, of course i am already there washing my eyes with sea seeing
even i am alone, its all done !
 i can drive eventually and go everywhere where i ever wanna go haha kinda fun you know

even sometimes people assumed you as a lonely peep  with no mate tho 😅😅 
but still kinda refreshing and mind soothing 

however now i just cant! haha cant go anywhere with anyone anyplace i love
need to be with my husband 😘

not that its not fun to be with husband
more loving and honeymoon kinda feelings if you go with your husband

only sometimes, we the girl just need that 'girl's time' 
you know what i mean right hahaha 😅😅😅

till then
gonna watch another DVDs some more 😘

toodles! bye~
Ds

Monday, September 11, 2017

Intertwine

**
intertwine
either being a very good wife 
or an obedient menantu to your husben's mother
intertwine
either you wanna cry and bold your shoulders for your husben
nor listen to her berat sebelah love and anger
**
instead
rather than let your husben tears of hatred 
for being secondize by the mother
i should rather be menantu hantu
not that i am being batu api for them to fight off
but i do love and sympatyze my beloved man
i saw him tears bcoz of that unfair love giving
unfair treatment by the mother
being condemn and cold faces by his own superwoman
i just cant imagine how hurts in his heart
**
we do try and ask forgiveness
but again we fell defeated
by the words of a mother
the words that may kill and poison that only man
called a SON
again
that broken heart bleeding
she's wining the others 
instead soothing and persuading my man's broken heart
**
we both went silenced
for days 
maybe weeks
only silenced can heal our heart
**
but then 
she realized we're running further from her
she feels sorry to us
and ask us to come back

since her name is MOTHER
we soothing our own heart 
ang let down our curtains

we forgive and ask another forgiveness 
for our stubborness and kecil hati
in hope she will treat and love us like the others
the others that she always winning them 
in all things
in all keadaan 
n even places

why you must compared us?
why MOTHER?
is he not your own child? 
or maybe it just me not seeing them?
(the love that you should shower to him)

**
i do feels sorry 
for letting that unspeakable questions out of my filty mouth
yet what just happen infront this pair eyes
me unable to forget
the feels when you saw your man tears in anger and pain
no
not forget any single
not in the mean time
**
it just
not the same
anymore

not bcoz of some called dendam in thw very inside
with your own MOTHER
but

maybe we need
time 
and time
and more time
to heal 
completely
hopefully
for the sake of my man's dunniya wa akhiroh
since SYURGA still under his superwoman
MOTHER